Dear Gavin Rossdale,
Merry Christmas! First off, let me say how cute your little family is. I like your kids’ names, especially the new one. The name Zuma makes me think of a little tiny baby running real fast, sort of like a member of the Incredibles, really. I enjoy how much you and your wife [...]
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Dear Emmys,
You know who isn’t funny? Like at all? All of your hosts. And someone should tell Probst to put a tie on. And nothing lets people know that you are doing “a bit” more than telling them that you are not.
I’d love it if you’d shut it,
e
p.s. WHERE IS PHIL!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Universe,
Entourage [...]
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Dear MD MVA,
I might be married now, but I am totally in love with you. Do you want to hang out? You are so clean and spacious and provide such ample seating that you have made me swoon. I have visited you three times, and I really appreciate you not judging me for getting so [...]
Read the rest of Catching Up on My Correspondence…January ‘08 Edition
Dear Internet,
I was totally preparing all day to write you this long, introspective essay on how I feel on the eve of the day I give notice to a job I’ve had since leaving grad school. All about the challenges of attempting to teach neglected children from low-income families to read, about falling completely in [...]
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I don’t think so. Yes, she has beautiful children, yes, she’s a chemist, yes, she has managed to consistently out-shoe me this year, yes, she updates her blogs all the time and so everybody loves her.
BUT
NO
She will not steal from me!
And so,
Dear AOL,
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEE you!!!!!!!! I mean, from the bottom of my belly I hate [...]
Read the rest of What’s That? Shannon Stole My Letters?